Here it is….my confession… I feel late to the game. For those who have known me since I was a teenager, this statement is no surprise. Punctuality does not come naturally to me. I have spent my entire adult life trying to improve upon my inability to arrive “on time”. Fortunately, I have improved in this area, but I will always have to make a concerted effort not “to be late”. The “game” to which I refer is not about punctuality. It is about starting a blog at a time when they are a dime a dozen. It is about feeling as if I am trying to jump on a train that has already left the station. Why me? Why now?
Over the course of the last couple of years, I have felt as if the Lord has placed on my heart to share how He has revealed Himself to me and my family in the midst of some very difficult life experiences. The “nudge” I initially felt has grown into an impression that I feel deep within my core. I have resisted it, but when I have put it aside the impulse grows into a force I cannot deny. I love sharing how the Lord has worked in my life, but at the same time I have been resisting putting myself out there in a format that feels so vulnerable and cliché. I have dealt with fear, confusion, and I have asked the Lord to give me confirmation over and over again. I keep putting it off, and then cycling into a pattern of fearing, doubting, and once again, praying for more confirmation. After almost two years of praying for and receiving confirmation, our new pastor at our church used the scripture 2 Corinthians 1: 3-5 in one of his first sermons, and it solidified to me that what I was feeling was biblical and from the Lord.
“Praise be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” The New International Version
I have found this scripture to be so true when I have shared my story, or testimonies in my life. When we receive the Lord’s comfort in our own experiences it allows us the privilege to share what God has done in our life, and in turn gives others the same comfort we ourselves have received. There have been several occasions where I have been able to share how the Lord revealed Himself to me, and walked me through a crisis. Afterwards countless people express how they can relate because of similar circumstances in their own lives. People relate to stories, because we all live this life that occasionally deals us a bad hand. Real life stories inspire, encourage, and give us strength. I know this, but I have continued to have many doubts as to whether or not I should share through writing. I am not an expert or a theologian. I am not an author, or a pastor, and I have had serious feelings of inadequacy when it comes to presenting my experiences in this type of format. However, the Lord keeps pulling on my heart, and leading me to simply… share. I keep sensing He is telling me to take it “one step at a time”, and to “keep it simple”. Through the scripture, the Lord has reminded me that we do not always have to feel qualified or comfortable to follow through on what we believe He asks of us. Sometimes we just need to put one foot in front of the other and obey. So here I am. I am taking it one step at a time. I may not see how this plays out in the future, and I do not possess a ten point plan as to where it will take me. Sometimes we do not need to see the whole picture, and I am reminded that is not my job. My job is to obey and follow through on what I feel the Lord has led me to do. I have certainly learned this in so many ways. So I am putting one foot in front of the other. I am writing….and I am sharing.
The Lord has taught me so many lessons, but in every stage of my spiritual journey there is one common theme. In these stories and circumstances the Lord has revealed Himself to me. There is nothing I have done to earn being in the presence of the Lord. The truth is that the Lord wants to reveal Himself to us all. He love us. He created us, and He wants all of us to know Him. The Lord wants us to receive His comfort and peace, and to encounter the intimacy of His presence.
If anything, I hope this is an encouragement to those of you who feel like you are late to the “game”, or have missed it entirely, whatever the definition represents in your life. We are never too late to follow through on what the Lord has called us to do. When we drag our feet He does not give up on us. The Lord is so much bigger than our ability to arrive on time. He gives us patience, and will even guide us through the process of finding courage when we need it. He can use us even if we feel late to the game. So here it goes. Once again, I may feel late, but I am finally here. I will simply…share.